Spaceship Earth

I sit under the spinning blades of

The skies churning, churning, and

I cry.

My life interrupted, once again.

I wonder if time is cyclical, if

I could really go back. But

What would I do?

Be locked away for raving

Nude in the parking lot of my

High school? Scream at myself

Again raving nude in the classroom

I once called Home.

Now all I can do is

Submit to the will of the

Opium drip drip dripping

Through my veins

Praying for an overdose.

An “accidental” death to

Justify my exit stage left from

This spaceship called Earth.

While I sit here, under the

Spinning blades of my life

I cry.

I scream to the gods to just let

Me die, to let my breath escape

My body, one measly second

At a time.

Profoundly intoxicated by this

Prophetic substance, dreaming

Dreams I once thought impossible.

I see the muddling existence led

By others sharing my pain.

I am sorry.

The only thing I want at this

Holy moment is to wander the streets

Of San Fransisco Portland and open

A heavy iron door to steam I know

Is Heaven. The holy moment

Enshrouded by this holy vapor,

THIS is my home.

Nodding off to the sick sounds

Of nothing there. Of parents and

Coworkers wonderingnotwondering

Where I am.

Who I've become.

If I'm safe.

Because on this spaceship called Earth,

No one is safe

Save enshrouded by that holy vapor.