Waterstill Ponscum Dreaming of Grass

Waterstill under
    Gurgling breeze;
          Turtles
Splayed in the sun
    Fucking under its
                       Rays.  White
Doves dance
           Overhead.
Pondscum dreams of
      One day growing
          Grass.  Grass
    Dreams of growing
           Trees;
                              I dream
           Of you.
You: darkest of
       Alabaster angels
Lover of Nothing,
      Savior of hearts.
Angel of poisoned passion, my love
          Breezes across
                Pond scum
                         Whom
        One day
                Dreams of
                                 Grass.

Ticket Stubb Drone

I think of you
      Standing in the lobby
          The ticket is
Spat and your name
              Illuminates
       These fluorescent
                          Lights.
More beautiful than
         I remember,
    That smile irradiates
          My mind.
I cannot get you
                            Out
            Of my head.
      Out of my grasp;
My queen has no
        Interest in a
                    Mere drone.
Buzzing thru the line
      Like waves of sound,
      Reverberating in my
            Heart.

Falling Out of Love

I know I should
  Get off this
          Train
  I know I obsess
I know it's too much
                        But
         How can I
                          Possibly
           Fall out of
      Love with you?
            You're the
                              Most
                                  Beautiful
            Girl I've never
                           Met.
Your words echo in my
          Skull across
                    Aeons of
    Depression and fear
          Loathing myself
             Into bottle after
                               Bottle
          You
    Were the light
        At the end of it
              All.
The sun after too
      Many long nights.
                My flashlight
           In this cave
                Of desolation
      And abhorred creatures
Of my own making.
        You
               Are still
    My shining light,
            A priestess
            Professing our
Love of
      Whomever is
    Tending the light
             At the end of the
                              Tunnel.

Your Memory Holds My Pen

After years, loves
    Losses and
                  Heartbreak.
I still think of you.
        Dearest A.
Dearest soul
        Dearest heart
              Dearest pen.
Your memory still
        Writes the words
                 I call
                           My own.
    Still captures my
                       Heart
          And loves me into
A crying clamor
      Of poetic
                      Nonsense.
Through these miles
        My heart grows
                       Restless.
      My pen heats
        Like the sun on
  My back.
       My heart bleeds
           Torrents of devotion
Downpours of love
           Washing away this
                  Cloudburst of
                             Loneliness.

Because with
    The memory that
        Writes these words,

I am never
                                        Alone.

Just Breathe

The rain pads softly
   On the leaves above
 My head.
The air is cold;
     My heart is heavy
   My life flashing
       Before my
         Very eyes.
Just breathe,
 Staring out the window.
         Breathe
   Edging my car down
 Neighborhood streets.
     Cruising across puddles
   And pools and power and
         Peace.

Recovering through living,
   Loving through life.
      Living through you.
Just breathe, you know.
   All will align, all will
        Work out.
 The universe has a funny way
   Of righting itself.

So just breathe,
   Count the shadows and
       Look into the light.
 Stand up and walk through,
   Walk through
         Live through,
           Love through,
       See through the
   Shadows for what they are.

Illusions
   Cast on the ground
     By light speeding
 Through the universe.
For every light there's a shadow.
  Every shadow has a light.

So just breathe.
   Your shadow is here to
     Help.
 It loves you as much as
         I do.

Falling Moons

Broken afternoons

Give way to darkness,

That give way to forced words

And four by four blocks

Leading into the Ether.

These broken afternoons

Leave me tired and forgotten,

While I wish to be loved,

The loved have wishes.

What I have taken for granted

Is the only thing keeping me

Where I am, when I am.

But as this silver moon

Falls across the sky,
My heart fades.

My stomach turns and
I am left sitting alone

In the dark, wondering

What the fuck happened.
Whether I really like

Who I am, or what I've

Become, or what I will

Be.

But as this fading moon

Falls through the sky,

I am reminded of my past;

What I have been through

To get to where I am.

And while I would rather

Not think about them,
I am reminded of what I

Have been through.

Of what I have seen.

I've seen my blood dripping

From my legs as if it wanted

To escape the confines of my
veins. I've seen what's left

Of my heart be broken into pieces

Over this sacred Ether.

I've seen (or rather, felt)

My heart cut in twain over

What I thought was sacred.

I haven't had a good memory

In years.

But now,

When I am pondering

On my life now,
I feel as if I don't deserve

The good things I have.

I feel I am not

Worthy of such good fortune.

I wonder if I am where

I am because of fate,

Or just freak coincidence.

Watching this freak moon

Fall from the sky I

Realize that I am who

I am because of the

Actions I've taken in

My past life. What

I have taken for granted is

In the falling freak moon.

I am this moon, I am the sky.

This silver deity falling from

Me is only a reminder that
I have no stars left.

That, across my sky

I have nothing but

Fleeting memories that
I have no desire to remember.

From my falling sky,

From my rising moon

I wish for memories I don't have

To fall for.

Looking up at this sky,
I want nothing more than

An Earth to land on.

Divine Cocophony

A wondrous collectious
    Cacophony of love.
  The feeling once the beat
        Begins to kick,
Lulls me into a wondrous
    Collection of bobbing
Bop
        Bops
    Of my head.

Stop,
    Listen to this
  Beating heart, whose
      Beats beat through
    The speakers.
O, the song sings soulful through
        My ears,
          Brain,
                Heart.

Silence is the soul and yet
      Music is heaven.
          Or hell,
Depending on the song.
  And that is beautiful,
    The fact,
        That
Music can take me through
      Paradise
    Or hell.
Here the trees are green,
    The grass is golden,
  And the sky precious
          Azure.

Leading me through these
    Divine songs,
  The nine levels of bliss,
        Misery,
      And purgatory.

And here It is,
  This divine cacophony
                Of love.